The Truth About Plenty of Fish

*EMERGENCY APPEAL* – $2000 reward for lost dog in Guangdong Province, China. Please read this emergency blog post and share far and wide!


For those of you who don’t know, Plenty of Fish is a dating website used by millions of people around the world. The one special factor regarding this dating service is that, unlike many others, this one is free. However, you may not have to pay in terms of money but you might find yourself paying when it comes to your very sanity.

If you are a man, you will initially view this website as a treasure chest of gold that has fallen into your lap. A free website with the opportunity to meet lots of women in your area? You never need enter a bar again and stumble up to that attractive woman by the counter with a gallon of Dutch Courage inside you. The reality, however, is far different. The ratio of men to women is about 7:1 and the end result is swarms of men fighting for the attention of one woman, not different from the barbarian days of the cavemen when they would clobber one another over the head in order to win the partner of their dreams.

Alas, these poor, naive souls are not even fighting for the partner of their dreams. Upon viewing the female profiles on the website, I discovered that there were a great deal of the following:

  • Obese 18 – 30 year olds in skimpy clothes, pulling provocative, pouting poses and stating they need a ‘real man to handle a real woman.’
  • Defiant single mothers with pictures of themselves and their kids, claiming that the kids come first and if the men on the site don’t like it, they can get lost.
  • Women with their breasts out in their profile pictures with the headline, “DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE A PERVERT AND ONLY AFTER ONE THING.”
  • Average-looking women who will have a long list of their likes/dislikes, needs and wants. “No tattooed men, no men without a car, no men who are shorter than 5’10, no men who live 20 miles away from me, no divorced men, no men who are still living at home with their parents…” And so forth. They will then go on to state that they want “a sweet, romantic, sensitive man who knows how to treat a woman.” In reality, no matter how sweet, romantic and sensitive the man messaging them is, if he isn’t harboring the same devilishly handsome looks as the majority of Hollywood actors, his message will be swiftly deleted. Oh, this cruel, shallow world.
  • Older women over 50 who are searching for a toyboy.

This is only the beginning of the vicious cycle. A lot of the men on Plenty of Fish are only looking for one thing and they are willing to drop their standards to the bottom of the bucket in order to get it. No matter how overweight, ugly, demanding or rude the female may be, she will be inundated with messages from desperate men who need to satisfy their wayward libidos. Such men fall under the following:

  • The ‘Sales’ man. This man will type out a general spill of, “I have read your profile and you sound extremely sweet. You look absolutely beautiful and I would love to have the opportunity to chat with you.” Without reading their profiles and regardless of what they look like, he then copies and pastes it out to a hundred women in his area and may receive about five responses in return, if he is lucky.
  • The ‘Muscles’ man. This man will post numerous pictures of his rippling, toned torso, pout into the camera, and then send a message with one word, “Hey” in the belief that his bulging biceps will warrant a response. For some women, this does work.
  • The ‘Joker’ man. This man will google an extremely unfunny joke and then post it to a bunch of women, hoping that this “humour” will strike him lucky. Usually fails.
  • The ‘Great Pretender’. This man will pretend to be interested in aspects of the female’s profile but it isn’t long before he is asking to hook up for a drink to ‘discuss’ her interests in cycling and hiking.
  • The ‘Straight-forward’ man. This man will just come out and say whatever he is hoping for, which is usually followed by a swift finger on the block button.
  • The ‘Clueless’ man. This man will, like the ‘Sales’ man, send out copy and pasted spills; however, his will be about him and him alone. He will write 500 words on what he does for a living, what he is looking for, how he believes others view him, how he wants to find someone to spend the rest of his life with, his life’s work, his ambitions and what sports he likes. He will then end by saying, “Hopefully I haven’t bored you!” The irony.
  • The ‘No-Pic Cheat’. This man is usually married or in a relationship and seems to think it is acceptable to flaunt his immorality in front of everyone with his audacious, “Not getting it at home, looking elsewhere: Females apply within” heading.

Thanks to such desperation, the women’s egos will be fed to the point of explosion. It no longer matters what the woman looks like (despite the fact that appearance is everything on Plenty of Fish). It won’t be long that the woman genuinely believes she really is this beautiful, stunning creature that she is being told she is every day by the overflow of males. Her ego will shoot to the roof and, as she is able to take her pick of any man on the site, the list of demands will become more and more unrealistic; any confidence which she possessed will immediately turn into arrogance and, suddenly, no man on the site is good enough, even the ones who are actually genuine; they find themselves falling into the same category as the desperadoes and creeps. This self-delusion soon creates bitterness and frustration in ALL of the men, who cannot understand how they are constantly rejected in such a rude manner by women they wouldn’t give a second glance to in the real world. They are usually completely ignored or receive a “You’re not my type” response to their well-planned message.

Personally, I find this type of arrogance mind-blowingly funny. I am strongly reminded of the children’s story ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ about a vain, self-infatuated Emperor who was conned by a pair of tailors into thinking the suit they were weaving for him was of magnificent splendor. They told him that the fabric was invisible to his eyes, but that everyone else could see it. The result was the Emperor stepping outside stark naked while his subjects had to pretend to admire “the suit.” In the end, the home truth was revealed by a small boy, who couldn’t understand why the Emperor was strolling around in his loins and flabby bits, and asked why he wasn’t wearing anything. In this instance, the deluded women represent the Emperor and the desperate men are the wily tailors.

I have spoken to many of the more decent men on the site who have been thoroughly dissatisfied with their experiences. One, who considered himself above average in looks,  informed me that he couldn’t believe it when an extremely large, 21 year old mother of two turned him down with a, “Sorry, you’re not tall enough.” He was 5’9, she was 5’5. Yet, despite the dismissive arrogance of the woman, her rejection was not with the intent to be cruel, but simply because she was probably so overwhelmed with messages that she only had one minute to spare typing a response before returning to the other 100 messages in her inbox. Besides – if she is receiving messages from the ‘cream of the crop’, she can take her pick and anyone not meeting the absolute requirement, sadly, has to go.

The problem with this site, as appears to be the problem with internet dating in general, is that people’s expectations are far too high. The truth is, everyone is riddled with flaws and we should take the bad with the good, or not at all. To create a list of what a man/woman should be and shouldn’t be is preposterous, not to mention downright hilarious. Similarly, there are a great deal of men and women on the site who completely contradict themselves. For example:  “I am a down to earth, intelligent person looking for similar. I have an excellent sense of humour” (even though there is nothing in the profile to suggest this). “I am open to most people for I believe that looks get boring after a while” (They then go on to state ‘No fat/short/etc men/women).

Meeting someone off Plenty of Fish can be similarly gruelling. When someone finally gets lucky enough to bring things into reality, it is not uncommon for the following to occur:

  • People are usually ten stone heavier than their pictures.
  • People are usually ten years older than their pictures.
  • People are usually not the person in their pictures. (This is something I have difficulty understanding. If you are going to meet the person outside of the internet, wouldn’t it make sense to let them know who you really are? After all, they’re going to find out anyway.)
  • Men will meet women who turn out to be a transsexuals.
  • Women will meet men who are hooked on drugs.
  • Men will meet women who are only interested in converting them to their political/religious beliefs.
  • Men will meet women who are simply trying to make their boyfriends jealous.
  • Women will meet men who will suggest living together on the first date and marriage on the second.

And after these disastrous experiences, people will resume their fishing and look for someone else, for the site is strangely addictive. The mind-boggling, disturbing cycle will then continue.

So, as you may have learned, Plenty of Fish is not all it’s cracked up to be. Despite the ‘Chemistry Tests’ (which apparently matches you with those who have similar results to you) and ‘Relationship Needs’ (which obviously knows you better than you know yourself and tells you what you need in a man/woman, including a customized, step by step plan of how to get it) and the range of ‘success stories’ printed on the site, it appears that this particular ocean is overflowing with angry, bitter men and stuck-up, deluded women. I’m sure the odd seahorse does spring up among all the trout but you would really have to wade through a lot of dirt to find it. So if you’re thinking of giving it a shot, happy fishing – or more importantly, good luck! (You’ll need it.)

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About skyespitfire

I tend to describe myself in several different ways when asked: 1) A tiger in the Chinese Zodiac. 2) A tornado that sweeps through people's lives. 3) A fed-up misanthropist who ironically has oodles of compassion for her fellow man. Aside from that, I am also 27 years old and based in London, England.

Posted on June 15, 2012, in Entertainment, Humor, Internet Dating and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 465 Comments.

  1. Royale with cheese

    I take for true that Online Dating are not successful in dating – speaking of serious dating looking individuals. I don’t know how we can figure out the character of a person from some pictures or description. Without knowing the character, then only remaining thing is the ‘beauty’ of the face and the interests. Then, we found out that common interests mean nothing: there are millions of people with similar interests. I guess men do the same, but for sure women only look for good looking guys on these sites. That is their only criteria. Is it superficial and unrealistic? Yes. But what else can you do with a picture? I still don’t understand why dating sites don’t build profiles with a mandatory short video of the subscriber. Even so it won’t probably be enough. Until then, see dating sites as a store where all women ‘try’ to choose a handsome looking guy. Not handsome, no luck, even though you two would probably be happy together in real life.

  2. hi!,I really like your writing very much! percentage we be in contact extra approximately your article on AOL? I need a specialist on this area to resolve my problem. May be that is you! Taking a look forward to see you.

  3. Thanks, this website is really helpful.|

  4. Your article doesn’t make sense. Most of what you said is speculation with no anecdotal evidence as back up.

  5. Good to know it’s not just me. I’ve seen all of this on here and I believe it 100% I to am and above average looking guy and I have to work pretty damned hard just to get one girl to respond back no matter what she looks like. I did an experiment once though just to figure out where the problem was, because like other guys, I started to believe I was the problem. Well, technically I was. I made 2 different profiles. One, from the profile you can tell he has money, and the other just put a pic of an extremely handsome guy on there, didn’t even really fill it out. It was like magic. I didn’t have to do any work, most of the time they messaged me first. And all the bullsh*t that I usually have to put up with on there, gone. They were suddenly trying really hard to get to know me and I didn’t have to do any work. Just kick back and enjoy it.

  6. whose the dumb sob unit inch goat humper who posted this piece of trash
    ROFL whoever posted this shit article must of been sucking the homo dick when writing it

  7. I have been on POF for 4yrs.some if the men on here very few talk with respect ,but the others beg women for sex if you don’t hang out with them they delete you,I am so disappointed in the men of today my age range from 50 to 62 these men ack as if they are young boys just begging for sex they have wife’s family,s try to cheat with single women I am a good woman I lose my husband yrs ago so my daughter made a dating page for me they did not want me to be alone ,I have chatted with some of everything they are no good when I say no I will not sleep with them they stop texting me all I want is good people around life is short

  8. I am not a nigger hater I am a nigger you men are disrespectful and some needs to point it out we are grown adults people of 50ish we do need to set examples for our children of the future do not be begging women for sex uses are not children ,I was looking for single respectful men I just get childish men playing with women hearts

    • women are on here beggin & playing with hearts minds & feelings just as much as the men if not more, don’t get it twisted snowflake

  9. I must say that none of the discriiption a you labelled regarding POF fit me, although all of the male ones made sense, especially the one about blocking a woman for letting the
    Small one go!😂

  10. Yes pof is really bad I met a woman off of there FAITHHOPELOVE31 I have had a few dates with her and has found out she has a lot going on that would make a man wonder what I’m getting into.She told me she wanted me to get her pregnant on the second date.Thats just crazy.She also told me that she meets up with men and they deposit money into her bank accountNow if that don’t sound like prostitution I don’t no what does.So in my eyes stay away from this site at all costs.

    • Im sure there are a few good ones but 90% all have an AFF profile on or if not hidden. There is an app out there you put in the persons profile photo or photos & it searches profile databases from back as 9 years finding them on specific sites if you catch my drift 😉

  11. i completely agree with all this, it is very hard even for a good looking guy to even get a response on pof so if you get any contact at all its generally not from someone you would normally go for if seen in a pub,but as you arnt getting much interest you then keep talking and over time maybe agree to meet up,all the while knowing in your heart its not what you really want cos your not really all that into her but the very least its a chance to socialise with a woman,
    other than this you may get lucky and someone you do find attractive gets talking, somehow shes still talking after one day and you agree to meet a week later, only to do yourself up nice, spend money on new clothes, you meet pay for drinks and food possibly and find out she isnt this sweet loving , none judgemental , funny person that she claimed in her profile, you do all the talking as she has the personality of a wet blanket simply not the person youve spent the past week chatting to,
    , you do all the spending and the second you part ways with a very lame hug if at all you turn away and walk to your car knowing youve just wasted another few wks of your life chatting online or on the phone even, and even parted with yet more money and all for nothing,
    and lets get this straight, i am not ugly, i know plenty of attractive women (spoken for ) that ask me why the hell am i single ? some even come on to me but as they have partners im not like that,
    so in my experience too many lower than average women on pof do think they are up there with kate beckinsale and feel you have to be ryan reynolds and a bank ballance to match in order for them to be interested, and that is below average looking women having to actually lower your own standards, just think for a moment what the really good looking ones are like, pof is all about bigging up ego,s of women while men get their egos and morality crushed.
    after years of this circus ive now decided to ditch this online fracade and go back to basics, seeing what people are before wanting to date them, in real world socialising such as social events or going to the gym, possibilities are out there, it doesnt have to end in loneliness tearing your hair out with the very fake and arrogant women. there are nice ones out there, but unfortunately i dont think the majority are on pof, life is too short for that game.

  12. HAHAHAHA!!! You NAILED my experience, down to the addiction and my growing ego. I lost ten pounds and gave up tv the first week I joined. Bravo!

  13. Accurate portrayal…pof should be an acronym for plenty of foolishness

  14. I met a guy 9 months ago on POF.We took our time dating because I really wanted to get to know this person and I didn’t want to get hurt..
    We got very close and started seeing each other very often,both retired in our 60’s and divorced many years.
    This man became emotionally abusive and very cruel towards me,and played psychological games
    I’m a very attractive woman with a good heart and soul but he wasn’t happy until he’d sucked every ounce of my energy and then dumped me,3 weeks ago!
    This man knows who he is and still has his profile on POF.
    I didn’t realise that throughout our courtship he was grooming me through his clever manipulation and lies.
    I just feel sorry for the next decent female he will manipulate, groom, and abuse.
    I’m just sorry I’m unable to name this person,just look out for a sheep in wolfs clothing!the clue is in the wording.
    This information is true and correct and not from a spurned woman.

    • I met a man on here,2014, pretending to want a relationship ,lied to me big time took me out watching movies , laughing thought I was having a good time ,he was in love with him daughter ,s mother,if you call it love ,I say any man that hurts a woman in that manner has no heart for love he was no good ladies and I think he was on the Downlow so be very careful …..They should shut these dating sites down good women are being abuse that happened 2 time to me trusting heart

  15. I don't want my name on here

    Please take my full name off the comment asap when you edit the above comment I don’t want it on here .Its a mistake to put it on .

  16. If you meet a girl by the name of Jessica celeste hoffman stay away from her, she will use you and screw you over every chance she gets. Most selfish per I’ve ever met

  17. So where does an attractive mature woman go to meet others. I don’t want to pay for a dating site.

    • If you want to meet men be out do not go on dating sites being out at the right time helps,do it like the old fashion way men are looking for sex then they abuse the women ,it’s sad that man that made up this dating site is causing hurt hearts abusive people

  18. I put pof in the rubbish bin and I can not get it back

  19. So, I’ve only been on POF for a few weeks. I get inboxed by some bloke claiming to want to start a long-term relationship with someone and settle down. I message him as normal. He asks me where I’m from. I tell him. The next thing I know I’m blocked.

    Is this normal behaviour of POF users or is this bloke basically an idiot?

  20. Lol that was good. I enjoyed your humor and I’m sure it’s all true. I will save my phone battery to find my next deer hunting trip. Thanks Terry

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